Life after coming back to work has been pretty eventful. During my first week I realized something wild: about 90% of the people in my division are somehow mutuals.

Some were college mates of my late co-workers from my previous company,

One was a friend of a senior from grad school,

One was in the same cohort with my financial math lecturer at grad school,

Another is the wife of someone who used to intern at my previous company,

And one of the current intern turned out to be the younger sister of someone I also know from there

It feels like, the world is oddly small.

The director leading my team also happened to be my lecturer at grad school. It took him until the third meeting when he suddenly realized my presence by saying, "Hey, aren't you one of my students? How come you get here?" 😅😅

So here I am—surrounded by familiar people, in a familiar ecosystem as well as the company culture. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve spent too long in this industry, but as someone who once worried about not being able to afford Office 365 after losing my campus access… moments like this make me feel incredibly grateful.

But anyway, after a long being away from professional setting, I think I seriously need to update my office wardrobe. Honestly though, for the last few years of being employed, I never bought a new one, let alone batik. There's a pretty big chance that I might run into one of the director inside the lift (unlike my previous workplace, where layers of various offices were there which, we could care less who works where). I need something practical, fabric-wise, so that I don't have to worry for the laundry service to do the wash. For instance, most of my batik apparel had their color bleed, and so I have to hand wash them carefully with special detergent. It's taxing me though 😢

Not long after, I went on a trip to Sukabumi with my colleagues. I didn’t expect this at all, but despite being mostly girls, they’re actually pretty adventurous—not like me, whose idea of hiking is limited to Taman Hutan Raya, mainly motivated by perkedel Bu Kokom 😂

On the last Friday night, we pulled an all-nighter to finish an important report, threw a birthday celebration (quick one) for the big boss, and went home at 5 A.M. the next day. I guess working late is sometimes inevitable. But the real question is, who you’re doing it with 😄

 I don’t think A and I really share the same interests.

He has a broader knowledge on Indonesian's 2000 pop songs, while I have.. none. Not exactly something to be proud of, I know. The only songs I vaguely remember are the ones that used to play as soundtracks for the soap operas mum watched at night—and even then, I couldn’t tell a single title. My only real exposure to music back then was MTV. I still remember (at that time) how it kept replaying Marie, Marie, Marie by Solveig Sandnes (the scene where the girl is in the bath and the real homeowner suddenly arrived is insane 😂), Coffee and TV by Blur, video game-like Californication or Windows-Media-Player-animation-on-Windows XP-like Zephyr Song by RHCP (I used to hate it visually but once I grew up I get why these songs are big hit back then), and blonde Dolores with daisy bandana on Animal Instinct music video. My cousin who was way older than me also introduced me to BoA, a Korean singer who sung Japanese songs at that time, whom her face I hardly recognize these days. 

Even our youtube feeds could not be more different either. Like most guys his age, he loves watching gadget review, politics, and football related content. Meanwhile mine is a mix of cooking videos, travel in eastern Asia, and alternative rock musics. He tried to convince me many times to binge Game of Thrones but I just can't with all the blood and explicit contents.

One day, he said, "let's watch anime in where the male lead piggy backs his little sister everywhere."

To be honest, I'm more of a shoujo, rom-com, slice of life kinda girl. For instance, I binge watch Horimiya for more than 5 times. I was familiar with Rurouni Kenshin (my favorite of all time), One Piece, HxH, or Shaman King but those came out decades ago—and apparently kids these days weren't familiar with them either. One of my classmate told me that it was her mum's favorite—you know what, kid, I know I'm old but I don't know I was that old 😞

Still, we ended up watching Demon Slayer all the way to Hashira Training Arc Season and even watched the Infinity Castle movie as well.

Aside from the amazing graphics, I felt like something is missing but I couldn't point it out. Was it the character's depth? I know the movie relies a lot on flashback and backside story but I think it was kinda rushed.

Or is it lack of character's development? I am used to read shounen manga where the main lead and his parties grow gradually through the struggles. Or maybe because it is animated so they have to chop the story here and there? I have no idea either since I don't read the manga.

But overall, I love the fact that we enjoy something new and be excited about. We found ourselves talking about Demon Slayers non stop in a Cafe while waiting our order to arrive. Apparently A's favorite characters are all villain: Akaza (for being a hopeless romantic) and Douma (due to his realistic, bluntly speaking behavior). While I were fond of Tokito and Giyu, simply because their fine and calm appearance 💘. Now I can't stop myself from watching reels unboxing pop mart merch where the price is basically the same as import books in my wish list.

**this post is written on 9/15/2025. At fisrt I decided to post this after checking out one of the pop mart merch at marketplace, but in the end I still hesitate to buy one HAHA

The first half is written at July 2025 

As long as I remember, I don’t really have a nice memory in attending graduation—I wasn’t thrilled to any family-involved events. Next month will be my 3rd time experiencing it. I am actually consider attending the upcoming one because I want to take nice pictures with my friends, and of course, so A can finally step inside Sabuga after having his own ceremony online during the pandemic.

Being the youngest in the family, graduation day was never about me. During my first one, it was about my sister nagging me about broken souvenir that I didn’t plan to keep at the first place, spam texted asking why it took so long to be paraded (some kind of tradition that the juniors have to honor the seniors who enter a new phase of life—and what she really wanted me to do though, to just walk out of the parade and go back to the building on heels? Meanwhile, a buffet and entertainment had been prepared for family as the guests of the graduate.

My second graduation wasn’t any better. I was taking a few photos with friends who came all the way from other college to congratulate me, but my sister insisted to leave the venue immediately because she was hungry. Then we dined out at a tiny Chinese food stall with no AC, in a hot sunny day of Surabaya, with me still in kebaya and make up on since that's her favorite (don't get me wrong, the food there was superb but perhaps we could have it on any less special occasions)—all before our scheduled family photoshoot at the mall I had booked weeks earlier. Wouldn't it be nice to dine at a restaurant inside a mall like other family instead? I don’t think they ever really think about how I feel; somehow, it always becomes about them. I’ve always swallowed my feelings because they never seemed to count in the first place anyway.

Fast forward, August 2025

Long ago I had this planned to take mum to Bandung for vacation—to see orchid garden in Cikole, or to enjoy delicious food Bandung has to offer, or to accompany her visiting our relatives at Antapani. I was one click away to book her train tickets and hotel, but she said that it would be better if the vacation was postponed until the graduation day, since she felt under the weather either.

But then one day, my sister had this idea to tag along mum to the graduation day. How could I say no? It’s fine as long as she didn’t bring her kids and her husband along with her.

However, not long after my thesis defense came, that crazy idea crossed her mind. She said that instead spending her annual family vacation at Bali, she decided to redirect the destination to Bandung. 

I said that half of the city would be jammed due to two graduation ceremony held and pay day combined. The hotel fare would be skyrocketed. The viral spots on her list would be packed as well. But she insisted to do so.

And the crazy part? She would do road trip, with mum—the elderly!! She said she would drive carefully, nothing to worry. Honestly, though my biggest concern would be the old car she drive, along with she and her husband who only know how to use it, not how to do the adequate maintenance regularly. As always, she never takes no for an answer—and so I let her.

D-2

She said they would go off early in the morning. At 2 P.M. I heard nothing from them, and so I texted mum. She replied that the car had been broken (to simply put, the water broke into the system and got the machine overheated and boom—the car stopped working at around 1/4 of the journey )

I had experienced kinda same 'tragedy' (A said my case was way worse, but nonetheless) and it took more than a day to fix the damn car. I texted A right after the phone call. What I didn't know that, later, A called mum and offered her to get picked up by A's relative to the nearest train station so she could make it--to the graduation day—on time yet unfortunately mum put the call on speaker so my sis could hear him and she (or her ego, to be precise) snapped "there's no need to! according to the mechanic, the car could get fixed tomorrow morning". Oh the combination for being so dumb and gullible in the same time.

D-1

I remembered it clearly that was Friday morning, we were on a trip passing through MBZ when my phone rang. It was mum. She said she was sorry she couldn't make it to the ceremony since the car wasn't able to handle a long journey anymore.

I just froze for a solid 2 minutes, trying to process the information I refuse to accept.

Inside my head was total chaos—but I was lost at words.

When mum hung up, I asked A, “why she always find a way to ruin my day?"

I could read "I told you so" on A's forehead but he managed to not say anything about it. A was that kind of person who understand car (more than a woman's heart) so he predicted that it would take more than 2 consecutive days to get fixed, and it won't be back to normal like it used to be. Not to mention the expensive bill that came along with it.

My sister was the one who suggested that I book Mum a room at the same hotel as mine—where the price had doubled from what it used to be. She managed to screw everything up perfectly. She even guilt-tripped me by saying, “Thank God the car broke down, since Bandung isn’t safe either because of the protests.” I mean, wow 😦

I am utterly grateful I have A by my side, so that I could got myself together—I didn't miserably attending my own graduation .. alone. At that time the hotel I booked was relatively near the protests. However, Bandung weren't that packed of tourists; the streets was almost empty—such a blessing in disguise. A wanted to take a graduation photo as a memento so I decided to book a photographer last minute (contacted the photographer during the ceremony, lucky that there was a slot available). We were so happy with the result.

In order to get rid of this kind of woe, I need to write them out so that it become easier to deal with. To be honest, I haven't got a good sleep afterwards as I always pondered on why the hell this kind of misfortune slipped under my nose. It has always been my dream to see mum at my graduation. She was the one who wanted me so badly to study here, the one who kept bringing up the idea of me pursuing graduate school whenever she could. I wanted her to savor all the good food and see the beautiful places here. I wanted her to experience sleeping in a proper hotel room—not in a house already overflowing with my sister’s clutter.

Yet somehow, I lost the chance to make her happy.

The first story title Naked is about a woman who gets divorced and become unemployed at the same time as she had built her company from scratch with her former husband. Once a high achiever—she seemingly begins to enjoy her unemployment regardless of what people around her might think of.

The second story, Planarian, tells the story of a cancer survivor whom I would avoid being friend at all cost because she’s honestly a pain in the ass. She can’t stop talking about how she have dealt with cancer and bring it up every time she has to, even though she no longer had it. It is incredibly irritating to have someone like her around. But what’s amazed me is how the author notice that this particular person always exist between society.

The third story, Here, Which Is Nowhere, features the most normal protagonist in the book—a devoted house wife. She was caught up in an unfortunate situation where his husband is ‘restructured’ by the company (familiar much?) and in result forced by the less-than-ideal circumstances to work part time and take midnight shifts—where her ‘job’ was to make sure her husband, children, and her mom had been taken care of by the end of the day—to make ends meet and that’s where the problems starting to arise.

The fourth story, The Dilemmas of Working Women section, which shares the same title of the book, tells a story about the woman who ponders a little too long whether to marry her long time boyfriend. I had a hunch that this reflects something many woman in modern society in Japan face—leading them to hesitate to when it comes to marriage. But this might be an eye opener for those dealing with the same issues—that your boyfriend is considered a glaring red flag when up until now he was a freeloader—living off parents’ money and planning to do so after marriage—def not a husband material.

The last part, A Tomorrow Full of Love, is my favorite. It is written from a first person point of view, which is a divorced man who describe what he feels toward this homeless girl he simply can’t stop taking care of.

In the end, it was rather amusing to realise that this book is written around 2000s and yet depicts some issues that is still relatable to these days—corporate restructuring program, societal pressure to get married or to join the workforce, or simply to live up society’s expectations. My first impression  shifted slightly after reading the translator’s note at the last page, which emphasize that this overall story should be understood within the cultural context—specifically on how the Japanese society is constructed or how rigid the gender role there. Overall, the stories are somewhat showcase different realities that women could go through and in the end, they have to stay true to their own voices, no matter how unusual and heavy it might seems.

Campus canteen usually open around 9 A.M. in average, which is way too late for breakfast time when I have a morning quiz or exam. I need fuel to burn especially to do the exam right. That meant I had to find a proper breakfast spot before 8 AM WHICH didn't take me to pass Pasupati intersection either (Soto Seger Boyolali, I'm talking about you 😂)—the red traffic light waiting time is so long that I thought it is almost the same as Harmoni intersection's. A once warned me that me that Imah might not be for me. He was referring to the Kebon Bibit branch which he never got to try with his friends due to the packed place. Thankfully, the Tamansari branch was much more pleasant 😌. Checking their weekly menu every Friday morning (almost religiously) on their Instagram story became a habit that I and my friends develop 😂. My go to orders? nasi goreng kampung +telur, nasi balakutak, nasi goreng cumi sambel ijo. 

And the star of the place would be: pisang goreng. Whenever I felt under the weather, I ordered kimlo—it was once weekly menu but became permanent due to popular demand (the same goes with nasi balakutak).

it was always the three of us, the 'Teris' girls

2. Seliter Dago

This the closest stall from my place, and honestly, a week never passed without me stopping by. Whenever I felt defeated after class, I’d grab a drink, finish it while watching vehicles pass by, mentally reset my mood 😁. Just like how the famous Indomaret iron chair do for some people. Or simply I would have a take out after having my meal at Pak Tono (details about it below). I always brought my stojo tumbler along just because. My top picks would be their and Stroberi Histeri (both less sweet and no condensed milk). After trying Alpukat Melekat, I refuse to buy jus alpukat anywhere else, it is that good but no one seemed to not talk about it on social media—too bad I don't have the pic.

 

3. Takoburanko

 This was my go to post Saturday class snack, especially after pulling an all nighter to finish a report. I still can't decide between the takoyaki or okonomiyaki, since both are insanely good (with reasonable price!!). 

Mind you to be patient during the order because the line is always long. It is not available online so here's the trick: get to the register and pay first, and then walk around the area where you can visit Sari-sari, Oseebo matcha, Wanda's club, or any viral food around Trunojoyo or Gempol while waiting your oder to be made.

4. Warung Dalaraos

I discovered this place thanks to one of my cohort after she realized Saraga canteen just wasn’t for me.

Veggies? check.

Wide variety of proteins? check.

All you can eat lalapan? check.

3 choices of sambal? check.

To be honest, I would never get bored of the menu they offered, even though the sautee broccoli and gepuk were always my go to. Their terong raos is another level too. There's a saying: if Ibu-ibu PNS in sportwear flock there on Friday morning, the food must be legit. It is though, a solid 10 I must say 😆. The only downside of this place is the parking fee; Rp 5000 for motorbike, like, you guys for real?! thank God they eventually opened at the campus canteen but only for me to enjoy on my last month there 😢

 5. Gado-gado Teuku Angkasa

Hands down this is the best gado-gado I've ever had—and the closest one, in terms of taste, to the one from my hometown. It is on the pricier side, but the portion is HUGE. Another bonus point is I could stop by at es kelapa murni berkah near Fitness Park afterward.

6. Roasted Bar

To be honest I got inspired by my friend who pursue graduate school at Australia. I was simply curious on how he managed to be able to eat decent food while its almost impossible to do take outs or dine outside frequently, yet it would be a bother to cook every meal time either. His solution was that he bought rotisserie chicken at nearby store, stored it in the fridge so it could last for days. So I copied him—I bought a whole chicken at Roasted Bar (which, divided into 4 pieces), move it to a lock n lock container and store it in the fridge. I paired it with steamed bokcoy/broccolli that I bought on morning walk at Pasar Dago earlier 😏. They have a wide variety of dips, and it was cheaper online. Both Cimbeuleuit and Cilaki branch were relatively near to my place.

7. Wanda's Club

It is the sister brand of roasted bar. This started as A's favorite, but I don't know exactly when my friends grew to like it too. I ordered it so often it showed up as my no. 1 grab food menu order of the year (followed by roasted bar).

The packaging is convenient enough for me to eat on the way home. Most of the time I brought my stainless steel spoon along with me since the plastic cutlery is easily broke. Also, this dish is my opportunity cost payment to A for picking me up late at night from Jackal Holiday's Pool. Not to mention, he never skips to buy it whenever he was in Bandung. But mostly I had it with my friends during our study session at "belakang aer" communal space. My personal favorite would be Philly chicken rice to keep me full. Chili oil is not my thing, so I always ordered one which they didn't dip the chicken into chili oil.

Before I discovered all I mention above.. I indulge my appetite with this:

8. Dendeng Batokok Dago

9. Pecel Kediri Pak Tono

I used to be a regular to the point Pak Tono remembered my order: pecel telur dadar + mendoan. The downside? it open from 8 AM and sometimes it randomly closed. Also, I feared for my gout level too. It is also available on online delivery but I prefer to dine.

10. Sei Sapi Lamalera

Cheaper via online delivery—but once I learned that smoked beef wasn’t great to consume regularly, I stopped.

11. Anen Chinese Food, GOR Padjajaran

For someone who draw towards chinese food on daily basis, I once struggled to find one. MCCF located in Tubagus Ismail was one of the option, but it opens at 10 A.M and I have to take a farther turn to get back to my place if I stopped by there first. So I figured out this Anen Chinese Food at grabfood. I ordered this quite often through grabfood but at some point I felt my stomach start complaining—I couldn't take a large amount of flour + oil anymore. My favorites are mi tek-tek nyemek and mie goreng.

Honorable Mention: Kantin Dago

This is my life savior throughout my campus life journey. This humble place is run by Bu Chusnul and his husband that sells nasi pecel and nasi kuning in the morning, and various kind of home cooked meals after 10 A.M. Sometimes rawon is on the menu too. Located only one building beside Seliter Dago, I thought they only sell breakfast meal. One day Bu Chusnul said that she remained open throughout the day. Although I am more fond of Pecel Pak Tono, the nasi kuning is quite decent. I had to go here before 12 P.M. or else sayur bayam would be quickly sold out.

Some people have asked whether I was conscious enough to self-sabotage my career life by suddenly pursuing graduate school—while according to some people there’s no single sign of my face appears that I have enough amount of intelligence to do so. Some framed it as an attempt to seek redemption of the overall industry flop. I won’t say that I didn’t agonize over whether to leave the job and switch to a totally different industry or to just stay at home doing nothing, either.

What I've come to realise is that lacking knowledge is a kind of failure too—honestly though, people simply can’t afford to stop growing. Not having enough knowledge is what dragged me to the lowest point of my life at 2020. I never once stop blaming myself, replaying every missed opportunity in my mind countless times—every moment where I chose comfort over growth. To actually hear the alarm that had always been deafeningly ringing this whole time, which I refused to pay attention even once. I stayed a little too long in a luke warm water called comfort zone pool—until the point I forgot that it is my responsibility to stay ‘nourished’. I had failed myself miserably for it.

It was so rich of me to call out people for being gullible, but my hot take here is that I have to be very skeptical—to know the actual truth behind anything that could put my life at risk—mentally, emotionally, professionally—and if I don’t, so the answer is absolute no, wake up, run!—if that makes sense. There is no such thing as too good to be true.

This post is just a reminder to myself: to stay alert, to keep growing, to always remain open to opportunities—even when they scare me.

Recently I've got so much going on, so here is a little update about life lately:

1.運転できる！やった！

Counting the days to officially having a driving license (YAY!) after a long, time consuming driving course that ate up my leisure time at weekend. I drove three different cars during the sessions, and I think it is safe to say that I’m confident enough to drive to the nearest loop for our morning run, or to grab coffee at a nearby coffeeshop. To be honest it feels like my personal achievement. I used to be called karung (read: rice sack) the whole time since I couldn’t ride a motorbike until college forced me to, let alone a car.

Despite our (rather normal) appearances, deep inside I and A are super geek. Apparently we are in our kidulting age, where he buried himself on the couch playing video games, while I spend money to buy manga chapters on apps 😂 my current favorites are Firefly wedding and Noble Student and His Cinderella. I still consider to buy the hardcopy because the artwork is soo beautiful 😭 I always have been into shoujo and josei manga (don't ask me how many times I've watched HoriMiya), but I don’t mind a good seinen either.

3. On Moving (Back) to Central Jakarta

After spending the first week commuting to work, I decided to once again rent a room at Central Jakarta. My aging body couldn’t take it anymore 😂 Getting drenched in a pouring rain on while stuck in the ((MIDDLE)) of Tomang intersection for a solid 10 minutes thanks to selfish people who refuse to stop their vehicles even tough the red light told them to do so 💀), it was enough for me to actually decide to book a room again. This time, though, I pick a place where A is allowed to have a visit.

4. On Curating My Circle

I’ve come to realise that people (who used to be) around me weren’t really kind, but I don’t let that negativity spoil my soul. I kinda hesitate to meet them again for some reasons even if I have the time to. They were just like an old tape who constantly reminds me of the old me, while they didn’t see the person I've grown into. Its just them whose life stopped—at I don’t know, 2020?—and I don't wanna waste any hour just to have a pointless conversation with them. This time I make sure I curate people who surrounds me and deserves my energy.

This month I will be taking professional exam again—well known for its <20% passing rate) next month where I failed 4 times already 💸 If I hadn't spent all that money on exam fees, I could have rocked a pretty decent hand bag by now but, damn, I really don't get it why I was so persistent in doing all this. A’s reaction every time I took the exam like, ‘what, again?!’ I get it, he thinks it was just a waste of money. With company didn't cover the cost, it was a serious bet. These days, I spend my commute scribbling practice questions, hoping this time's the charm. 

I have written on earlier post that I struggle to fall asleep. Thankfully, I gradually get my sanity back by improving my quality sleep. What helps: taking magnesium oxide before bed, setting the room into pitch dark, wearing ear plug during bed time. Recently magnesium glycinate has taking over the internet, yet I hesitate to buy it online since per today (according to the pharmacist) BPOM hasn't approved the glycinate one to enter this country—and I am skeptical for their super hype on the internet and the buzzers who attached their mail stated that the store they recommend is the certified distributor one. But if anyone reading this post have a different perspective about it, please let me know. Meanwhile, a friend of mine told me that she took 5000 IU of Vit D and magnesium glycinate (that she refuse to let me know where she got it from) every single day to boost her immune system. What's kinda fishy, though, was instead consulting her health problem to the immunologist (like I did), she got all that advice from a sport physician.

7. On Finding The Same Shade Lip Cream

I was one of the girl who caught the fever of N.Y.X matte lip cream, and it seemed like I still can't move on to this day. Their shades just match my skin tone perfectly. I used to love Antwerp and Ibiza—pink neutral shades that instantly brighten up my face. It's hard to describe how they look good one me--It screams youth but not so much, yet it doesn't make my face look like 10 years older, either. I don't do lip tint or lip gloss simply because I think it did not suit me. However nowadays, every brand seems obsessed with nude or mauve tones, but sadly they’re not my cup of tea. Even with all the new local brands popping up, I still haven’t found anything that compares to N.Y.X. shades.

8. On Catching Up with Friends

In the last two months, I have caught up with some college friends and old acquaintances—one just started graduate school at the same Uni I attended, and I also met a few others in Bandung. Some friends even reached out out of the blue while they were in town, just to grab a quick coffee. Some of them I missed because I had gone back home during weekend. They have no idea how those small gestures mean so much to me; how grateful I am to them who took the time to reconnect with me. I really wish you all the good things in life.

That's it for now—thank for having coffee with me 😊