The first half is written at July 2025
As long as I remember, I don’t really have a nice memory in attending graduation—I wasn’t thrilled to any family-involved events. Next month will be my 3rd time experiencing it. I am actually consider attending the upcoming one because I want to take nice pictures with my friends, and of course, so A can finally step inside Sabuga after having his own ceremony online during the pandemic.
Being the youngest in the family, graduation day was never about me. During my first one, it was about my sister nagging me about broken souvenir that I didn’t plan to keep at the first place, spam texted asking why it took so long to be paraded (some kind of tradition that the juniors have to honor the seniors who enter a new phase of life—and what she really wanted me to do though, to just walk out of the parade and go back to the building on heels? Meanwhile, a buffet and entertainment had been prepared for family as the guests of the graduate.
My second graduation wasn’t any better. I was taking a few photos with friends who came all the way from other college to congratulate me, but my sister insisted to leave the venue immediately because she was hungry. Then we dined out at a tiny Chinese food stall with no AC, in a hot sunny day of Surabaya, with me still in kebaya and make up on since that's her favorite (don't get me wrong, the food there was superb but perhaps we could have it on any less special occasions)—all before our scheduled family photoshoot at the mall I had booked weeks earlier. Wouldn't it be nice to dine at a restaurant inside a mall like other family instead? I don’t think they ever really think about how I feel; somehow, it always becomes about them. I’ve always swallowed my feelings because they never seemed to count in the first place anyway.
Fast forward, August 2025
Long ago I had this planned to take mum to Bandung for vacation—to see orchid garden in Cikole, or to enjoy delicious food Bandung has to offer, or to accompany her visiting our relatives at Antapani. I was one click away to book her train tickets and hotel, but she said that it would be better if the vacation was postponed until the graduation day, since she felt under the weather either.
But then one day, my sister had this idea to tag along mum to the graduation day. How could I say no? It’s fine as long as she didn’t bring her kids and her husband along with her.
However, not long after my thesis defense came, that crazy idea crossed her mind. She said that instead spending her annual family vacation at Bali, she decided to redirect the destination to Bandung.
I said that half of the city would be jammed due to two graduation ceremony held and pay day combined. The hotel fare would be skyrocketed. The viral spots on her list would be packed as well. But she insisted to do so.
And the crazy part? She would do road trip, with mum—the elderly!! She said she would drive carefully, nothing to worry. Honestly, though my biggest concern would be the old car she drive, along with she and her husband who only know how to use it, not how to do the adequate maintenance regularly. As always, she never takes no for an answer—and so I let her.
D-2
She said they would go off early in the morning. At 2 P.M. I heard nothing from them, and so I texted mum. She replied that the car had been broken (to simply put, the water broke into the system and got the machine overheated and boom—the car stopped working at around 1/4 of the journey )
I had experienced kinda same 'tragedy' (A said my case was way worse, but nonetheless) and it took more than a day to fix the damn car. I texted A right after the phone call. What I didn't know that, later, A called mum and offered her to get picked up by A's relative to the nearest train station so she could make it--to the graduation day—on time yet unfortunately mum put the call on speaker so my sis could hear him and she (or her ego, to be precise) snapped "there's no need to! according to the mechanic, the car could get fixed tomorrow morning". Oh the combination for being so dumb and gullible in the same time.
D-1
I remembered it clearly that was Friday morning, we were on a trip passing through MBZ when my phone rang. It was mum. She said she was sorry she couldn't make it to the ceremony since the car wasn't able to handle a long journey anymore.
I just froze for a solid 2 minutes, trying to process the information I refuse to accept.
Inside my head was total chaos—but I was lost at words.
When mum hung up, I asked A, “why she always find a way to ruin my day?"
I could read "I told you so" on A's forehead but he managed to not say anything about it. A was that kind of person who understand car (more than a woman's heart) so he predicted that it would take more than 2 consecutive days to get fixed, and it won't be back to normal like it used to be. Not to mention the expensive bill that came along with it.
My sister was the one who suggested that I book Mum a room at the same hotel as mine—where the price had doubled from what it used to be. She managed to screw everything up perfectly. She even guilt-tripped me by saying, “Thank God the car broke down, since Bandung isn’t safe either because of the protests.” I mean, wow 😦
I am utterly grateful I have A by my side, so that I could got myself together—I didn't miserably attending my own graduation .. alone. At that time the hotel I booked was relatively near the protests. However, Bandung weren't that packed of tourists; the streets was almost empty—such a blessing in disguise. A wanted to take a graduation photo as a memento so I decided to book a photographer last minute (contacted the photographer during the ceremony, lucky that there was a slot available). We were so happy with the result.
In order to get rid of this kind of woe, I need to write them out so that it become easier to deal with. To be honest, I haven't got a good sleep afterwards as I always pondered on why the hell this kind of misfortune slipped under my nose. It has always been my dream to see mum at my graduation. She was the one who wanted me so badly to study here, the one who kept bringing up the idea of me pursuing graduate school whenever she could. I wanted her to savor all the good food and see the beautiful places here. I wanted her to experience sleeping in a proper hotel room—not in a house already overflowing with my sister’s clutter.
Yet somehow, I lost the chance to make her happy.
