When It Began

I used to be a hoarder. 5 years ago I drowned in hedonic treadmill lifestyle—a first jobber fever most people had experienced at least once in a lifetime.

I live in the heart of Jakarta and luckily fueled with decent cash at that time. I constantly bought everything that I couldn’t afford when I was in college—fancy dinner, fast fashion clothes, shoes, leather bags, face & body care, and a lot more shoes. Damn, it sounded a lot less lame in my head.

I’ve got 3 different perfumes and lotions on top of the drawer—if it is counted as normal to you, then good for you, but in my case it’s something that never happened before.

I remember every time I complaint how sting hot Surabaya weather is and how trip to Kampus Sukolilo to Kampus B back and forth could darken my skin in a minute, my Mum convinced me that later, I can do expensive treatment to lighten up my skin, to afford life guaranty hair removal laser once I get a decent job someday. That pretty much explained how I never think twice to spend a lot on the body care section—to give rewards to the-old-me-who-works-her-ass-off, which, later I figure out it has a name—instant gratification. However, this sense of entitlement leads to a vicious cycle I’ve never been aware of. And that also motivates me to splurge millions on the weekend, buying shits that ended up I never use.

Little did I know that those things only bring a little value to my life.

The Turning Point

It all started when I have to pack my stuff to live under the same roof with A after we got married. I had to leave my 2x2 m2 room that was already packed wall to wall with belongings I’ve hoard for the last 4 years. I moved into A’s rent room temporarily which is, slightly bigger, but could not contain all my shits and his combined. We stuck in there for a few months to wait the house finishing is finally completed. Since I want a new start for our brand new house, I decided to grab Marie Kondo’s book, read it, and applied it religiously in my packing party.

I sticked with stuffs that I really like—something that serves a purpose or  sparks joy. Furthermore, I donated those free backpacks I got from workshops, clothes and those never worn hijabs, some of kondangan dress I’ve only worn once, a few worn out sling bags, tons of paper and plastic bags, a stack of magazines, knick knacks, all the expired body care and make up that I wasn’t proud of.

The one that leaves a big hole in my heart is when I sold my one and only short sleeves black kebaya top from everlasting batik that I really love since it’s so right fitted on my body—boy O boy I could feel like it is made just for me but I can’t wear that anymore since I wear hijab. Damn.

I let go of things that I hold on so dearly for so long just because I thought I might use it later but turned out I never did.

I discovered that I do not need much clothes, really.

I only put on nude and pink shade lip cream—so now I know what to put in the cart next when I ran out of one.

I am not confident enough to wear flowery nor abstract motif-hijabs, so I can save a few bucks to buy the famous voal one.

I only put on basic clothes to go to the office—or mostly, everywhere, so I donate all of that cosplay-ish thingy that sits on the corner of my wardrobe for a very long time.

On a side note, I did not do something extreme like 1 in 10 out rule, but as I separate things I really love and things that I rarely use, my sense to differ ‘things added value to my life’ and which one is not is getting sharper.

Overall, it is merely a journey. The first baby step I took is to simplify my possession by removing  the excess. I might float a theory here that people who considered minimalism as a way of life are actually the ones who have experienced living in abundance in advance. Nevertheless, it would be better if people don’t take the farthest turn like that since it could save them a lot of time, energy, and of course, money.

To an extent, hopefully not only am I finally able to control the greediness towards material possessions, but also I am able to let go of emotional and mental clutter either.

Of course I have slipped up along the way, just like recently I stocked up on cute face masks AND a few body lotions because they’re on sale at a really good price. 

I can’t labeled myself a minimalist yet since I still possess more, but I’d like to make gradual little moves to live responsibly, consciously—deliberately.