Now that I am back to a normal, 8 to 5 (more like 7) life, I have fallen back into the same mundane routines and I can't help but feel that my daily activities starts to bore me off. Not trying to be ungrateful, but I should not drawn further to this kind of feeling that lingers, or else I am gonna lose my self again. Therefore I started to do things differently to spice up my day. Looking back, the first thing that could potentially ruin my mood is having a shitty coffee in the morning. On my previous workplace, before I go straight to my desk, I would stop by the bakery located at GF (which rarely got customers in line) to buy a cup of hot coffee; it comes with a free bakery and is totally cheap but honestly though, the taste is quite bland and the amount of caffeine isn't kicking enough. Famima at the basement level, however, always packed with crowds and it always took me more than 30 minutes to get my order. So a good cup of coffee in the morning would fix my mood the entire day 😁

The second thing that I do to make my day better is to have mini adventure on my way to work. On days when I don't have any deadline, or doing fasting for example, I would commute to workplace by TJ or Jaklingko, in every way possible. The idea of commuting by public transportation never fail to excites me. By far I figured 6 different ways to commute to work using the combination of different corridor and bus stop, depending on where to grab my coffee first. Most of the time I would stop by  Fore at Djakarta Theater to grab coffee—another effort to not rely on deliveries, but lately the headway of Jaklingko had been longer due to Dishub officer monitoring onsite (got this information from the driver himself)—notice how Jaklingko used to skip the bus stop unless the passenger told the driver to stop, but lately they compliantly stop at every single one?

These days I visit Kopi Api Cikini at R.P. Soeroso frequently, where I have to walk around 7 minutes from Gondangdia station. Sipping dirty latte and watching trains pass by are peaceful ways to start the day (note: I unlock (useless) skill where I can take coffee on an empty stomach). Sometimes I make Japanese iced coffee at home to cut down on my daily coffee budget but more often than not I treat it as substitute for breakfast and I buy my second cup of coffee somewhere else. Well, at this rate I might run out of money at the end of the month 😷 Later I found a perfect excuse from @champagnecruz on Thread saying, "Everytime you hesitate to have your third coffee of the day, remember there are people out there doing cocaine. Enjoy that coffee" 😂😂

Not far from Kopi Api is Blue Doors Menteng, but I've only visited once. I tried really hard to like their coffee; I ordered the Kyoto Latte this time around. Unfortunately, they couldn't adjust the sweetness level, so it ended up being way too sweet for my liking 😷

Another way to make the most of my commute, is to distract myself by reading a bite-sized book, especially when I get a seat on the bus or while waiting at a bus stop, because it can take a while for the bus to arrive (I will write more about this later).

The third way to start my days is by having a quick breakfast at Soto Mie Mang Udin not far from Kopi Api Cikini.

To be honest, I had never been a fan of soto mie until recently. I used to hate it when the broth temp cooled down due to the cold risol on top, but theirs is different. The broth stays hot. It is clear but rich, and it warms my body in an instant. Not to mention, the place is somewhat nostalgic, it reminds me of places in Bandung—dining under the shade of a huge tree in the yard of a colonial-style house.

Post-work catch-ups with friends is something that I really need to recharge. That include geeking out at Kinokuniya or Gramedia, buying comics, chit chatting and ending the day with a few strolls at Food Hall to buy groceries.

The last thing that I and A do lately is having transum date (read: public transportation date) after office. By taking the MRT, we visit cafes and restos we've never been to. One night, we tried out Daring Deli and got into the wrong bus on our way back. On another night, we had delicious bakmi jawa at Bakmi Jawa Mas Yono (never miss to order their mendoan also), and had the best dirty latte I've ever tried at Brookland Panglima Polim. I'm super happy of what we're doing even though we both already felt tired from working the entire day. It's like mini escape to our mundane schedule.

Best, best, BEST 

*I wrote a lot on used papers at night since I'm a paper and pen person. I always make an excuse to type it out on Penzu and post it here. Maybe next time 😶

Life after coming back to work has been pretty eventful. During my first week I realized something wild: about 90% of the people in my division are somehow mutuals.

Some were college mates of my late co-workers from my previous company,

One was a friend of a senior from grad school,

One was in the same cohort with my financial math lecturer at grad school,

Another is the wife of someone who used to intern at my previous company,

And one of the current intern turned out to be the younger sister of someone I also know from there

It feels like, the world is oddly small.

The director leading my team also happened to be my lecturer at grad school. It took him until the third meeting when he suddenly realized my presence by saying, "Hey, aren't you one of my students? How come you get here?" 😅😅

So here I am—surrounded by familiar people, in a familiar ecosystem as well as the company culture. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve spent too long in this industry, but as someone who once worried about not being able to afford Office 365 after losing my campus access… moments like this make me feel incredibly grateful.

But anyway, after a long being away from professional setting, I think I seriously need to update my office wardrobe. Honestly though, for the last few years of being employed, I never bought a new one, let alone batik. There's a pretty big chance that I might run into one of the director inside the lift (unlike my previous workplace, where layers of various offices were there which, we could care less who works where). I need something practical, fabric-wise, so that I don't have to worry for the laundry service to do the wash. For instance, most of my batik apparel had their color bleed, and so I have to hand wash them carefully with special detergent. It's taxing me though 😢

Not long after, I went on a trip to Sukabumi with my colleagues. I didn’t expect this at all, but despite being mostly girls, they’re actually pretty adventurous—not like me, whose idea of hiking is limited to Taman Hutan Raya, mainly motivated by perkedel Bu Kokom 😂

On the last Friday night, we pulled an all-nighter to finish an important report, threw a birthday celebration (quick one) for the big boss, and went home at 5 A.M. the next day. I guess working late is sometimes inevitable. But the real question is, who you’re doing it with 😄

Recently I've got so much going on, so here is a little update about life lately:

1.運転できる！やった！

Counting the days to officially having a driving license (YAY!) after a long, time consuming driving course that ate up my leisure time at weekend. I drove three different cars during the sessions, and I think it is safe to say that I’m confident enough to drive to the nearest loop for our morning run, or to grab coffee at a nearby coffeeshop. To be honest it feels like my personal achievement. I used to be called karung (read: rice sack) the whole time since I couldn’t ride a motorbike until college forced me to, let alone a car.

Despite our (rather normal) appearances, deep inside I and A are super geek. Apparently we are in our kidulting age, where he buried himself on the couch playing video games, while I spend money to buy manga chapters on apps 😂 my current favorites are Firefly wedding and Noble Student and His Cinderella. I still consider to buy the hardcopy because the artwork is soo beautiful 😭 I always have been into shoujo and josei manga (don't ask me how many times I've watched HoriMiya), but I don’t mind a good seinen either.

3. On Moving (Back) to Central Jakarta

After spending the first week commuting to work, I decided to once again rent a room at Central Jakarta. My aging body couldn’t take it anymore 😂 Getting drenched in a pouring rain on while stuck in the ((MIDDLE)) of Tomang intersection for a solid 10 minutes thanks to selfish people who refuse to stop their vehicles even tough the red light told them to do so 💀), it was enough for me to actually decide to book a room again. This time, though, I pick a place where A is allowed to have a visit.

4. On Curating My Circle

I’ve come to realise that people (who used to be) around me weren’t really kind, but I don’t let that negativity spoil my soul. I kinda hesitate to meet them again for some reasons even if I have the time to. They were just like an old tape who constantly reminds me of the old me, while they didn’t see the person I've grown into. Its just them whose life stopped—at I don’t know, 2020?—and I don't wanna waste any hour just to have a pointless conversation with them. This time I make sure I curate people who surrounds me and deserves my energy.

This month I will be taking professional exam again—well known for its <20% passing rate) next month where I failed 4 times already 💸 If I hadn't spent all that money on exam fees, I could have rocked a pretty decent hand bag by now but, damn, I really don't get it why I was so persistent in doing all this. A’s reaction every time I took the exam like, ‘what, again?!’ I get it, he thinks it was just a waste of money. With company didn't cover the cost, it was a serious bet. These days, I spend my commute scribbling practice questions, hoping this time's the charm. 

I have written on earlier post that I struggle to fall asleep. Thankfully, I gradually get my sanity back by improving my quality sleep. What helps: taking magnesium oxide before bed, setting the room into pitch dark, wearing ear plug during bed time. Recently magnesium glycinate has taking over the internet, yet I hesitate to buy it online since per today (according to the pharmacist) BPOM hasn't approved the glycinate one to enter this country—and I am skeptical for their super hype on the internet and the buzzers who attached their mail stated that the store they recommend is the certified distributor one. But if anyone reading this post have a different perspective about it, please let me know. Meanwhile, a friend of mine told me that she took 5000 IU of Vit D and magnesium glycinate (that she refuse to let me know where she got it from) every single day to boost her immune system. What's kinda fishy, though, was instead consulting her health problem to the immunologist (like I did), she got all that advice from a sport physician.

7. On Finding The Same Shade Lip Cream

I was one of the girl who caught the fever of N.Y.X matte lip cream, and it seemed like I still can't move on to this day. Their shades just match my skin tone perfectly. I used to love Antwerp and Ibiza—pink neutral shades that instantly brighten up my face. It's hard to describe how they look good one me--It screams youth but not so much, yet it doesn't make my face look like 10 years older, either. I don't do lip tint or lip gloss simply because I think it did not suit me. However nowadays, every brand seems obsessed with nude or mauve tones, but sadly they’re not my cup of tea. Even with all the new local brands popping up, I still haven’t found anything that compares to N.Y.X. shades.

8. On Catching Up with Friends

In the last two months, I have caught up with some college friends and old acquaintances—one just started graduate school at the same Uni I attended, and I also met a few others in Bandung. Some friends even reached out out of the blue while they were in town, just to grab a quick coffee. Some of them I missed because I had gone back home during weekend. They have no idea how those small gestures mean so much to me; how grateful I am to them who took the time to reconnect with me. I really wish you all the good things in life.

That's it for now—thank for having coffee with me 😊

Just a quick update on what's happening in my life lately.

I officially graduated at the end of August. Though, sadly, mum couldn’t make it to the ceremony (will rant about that on another post). Still, I managed to take graduation photos with these ador(k)able people that I cherish the most.

Got ISPA twice when stayed at home. During those dark moments, I forced myself to think about the times when I was feeling at my best—secured my first job, that is. I retraced what I actually do to get me fully engaged: good habits I built, the mindset I had, or quotes that truly moved me. I used to read Ahmad Fuadi's books for inspiration, but frankly speaking, what's truly pushed me to go the extra miles was this random quote I found at Tumblr:

“Want something you’ve never had? Do something you’ve never done”

People who knows me from a far would see me as the one frantically trying to break through invisible doors upon me. I'm definitely not one of those brilliant friends who graduated summa cumlaude, nor the ones with negotiation skills so sharp their career skyrockets overnight 😛. But I keep knocking anyway, because who knows? Maybe one of those doors will open. Maybe God will actually let me in.

(as why I chose the phrase "breaking through a door", I felt like I couldn't get in easily if I didn't knock it hard enough)

This exact mindset is what made me hit the send button even though I had no idea whether there was an open position to apply. After countless, dreadful LinkedIn scrolls that led me to nowhere, I finally did the unthinkable move. That crazy idea suddenly crossed my mind, right after I submitted an application to another company (that I didn't get a chance to get interviewed to) that I got from my late boss.

Got an offering letter days after being officially graduated—at a workplace located exactly what I want, in an unpredictable way, at all. The way it happened felt surreal—it kept people around me wondering how on earth I landed the job, and yet, once again it proves that God always watching and taking a good care of me all along.

Had I not been an active student in the professional class in 2016 hosted by the company, and earned the highest grade, and caught my (current) boss' attention—who happened to be in the same class, 

Had I not been reached out to a friend last February—who has a mutual in this company—to look for an internship vacancy and got the HR’s email at that time...

I wouldn’t have secured this job.

The position I filled had been vacant for almost a year, despite several round of interviews.

Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah. Indeed another wish come true, God is (really) good.

However, apparently I've been looked down upon by the very people I expected the least. They (tried hard to sound as casual as they can) asked me, "Who got you in?" or "Did X refer you?"

To live in a country where even the top officials got his position thanks to his beloved papa and uncle, I get that nepotism is kind of a new normal. But man, those questions were humiliating.

For someone like me whose only purpose at work is self actualization and not climbing some power ladder, it stung. I have never mastered the art of sucking up nor do I play office politics. They knew I don’t belong to certain group of power nor being boss’ favorite—favorite enough to back me up. If I were someone’s favorite, I didn't have to bother giving up my last job and went through to some extend to graduate school. All this time I always stand on my own foot, with God’s grace. Or so I thought, they knew it better than anyone else. But hey, jelly much?! After all the favors I did for you guys, was that all I got in return?! 😒 Oh well, maybe it's time to cross a few names off the friend's list anyway.

I also got a lot of unsolicited advice where I could aim a better company. Like, what do you expect from me, designing rockets for NASA?! The funniest part is, this kind of remark came from someone whose company reported 600+ billion loss at the end of last year—he should take a better look at himself in the mirror 😂 dude is in a sinking ship but still minding someone else's business. How ironic.

In this kind of economy, being unemployed is not an option for me—I’ll take whatever opportunity comes my way. I am deeply grateful for anything God has given to me. I refuse to compare my life to anyone for comparison is truly is the thief of joy. Right now, I am finally getting a grip of myself, feeling at peace—and that’s what matters most. I don’t owe anyone any explanation. I let them keep wondering "who got me in", because the real insider behind all of this is, and has always been, the Almighty.

1. This year marks the first time I have gotten unfavorable results from a blood test. Well, this might be biased since I took the test at a drugstore—the quick kind where they prick the fingertip and stuff, not the proper test lab—this is why I missed being employed 😂😢. The last time I took medical check up on 2022, the results were fine. Even though I never eat organ meats nor drink alcohol, I admit my habit in having milk coffee (with syrup added) daily was all to blame. In addition, I also found myself enjoying red meat more than I was before. Who can resist iga bakar si jangkung? 😝 to me personally I prefer jangkung to warung boma though. Not to mention the times when I went to the campus canteen and processed meat like gepuk was all that’s left to feast. The way I stock up beef stew for 3 portions in a single delivery (to get cheaper price, of course) since it is easier to heat up using rice cooker.. (I'm a sucker for soupy, broth meal). Plus, my daily intake of red meat always risen during periods, because it is the only way to ease the migraine I got. However, taking supplement won’t be enough at my case.

2. I have been into running just like any other people at my age (to maintain my fitness level) and doing strength training to train my muscle (use it or lose it, they said) but the flare I got from gout prevents me to do so 😔

3. My period cycle was never been on the track (was there even any cycle to begin with, I honestly don’t know). It come and go as it likes. And yep I have consult it to obgyn and only been told to manage stress—something I have not mastered yet) but starting around 3 years ago I bleed heavily. Like, I always have to wash my bedsheet myself because of it 😭 What I am trying to address is the symptoms—the heavy migraine, the bloating, the constipation, the insomnia (I strangely find myself harder to sleep at night before I got my period),  and the emotional roller coaster it got me before I actually bleed.

4. I almost bald. My hair line is pulled back 2 cm than before. If I were to get paes again, the make up artist won’t even bother to shave the front hair, she could just draw it straight 😭

5. I have reached the age where I can’t really handle nasi Padang anymore. The last time I had it, I ended up throwing up like crazy just ten minutes later. The same burning sensation hits my chest every time I eat stir-fried noodles. I guess now I can only choose one: greasy, flour-based, or spicy—definitely not all three together.

6. I should be more careful of what I eat. There was this one time where I have smoothies, burger, Taiwanese dessert, and cold brew in less than 5 hours. The result? I woke up at 1 AM throwing up for more than 3 times. Who on earth gulp 3 different drinks in 5 hours Za? It honestly felt like some invisible force was trying to pull everything out of my stomach. It was horrible that I actually asked myself, "Is this it? Am I about to die?" 😫 I have developed this kind of illness since a little—puking after eating or drinking even plain water—thanks to my irregular eating habits. That night was another episode of it. I managed to stay conscious to book a doctor appointment at campus clinic that morning.

I think all these unhealthy lifestyle (adequate sleep, poor diets) lead me to this exact condition and currently I am trying hard to fix it. Wish me luck ✊

This post is written to cherish my days spent at Bandung. Sadly the end of this month marks the date where I officially move out (sob), therefore allow me to write a memorable, ups and downs during my stay here.

Moving to another city was never been this exciting. At first I thought the journey in finding the right rent room wasn't this hard. I'm gonna take you back on my experience in choosing rent room. My very first experience about moving away to my family was when I move to Jakarta for work. The rent room I chose when I lived in Central Jakarta was all recommended by my seniors, and I never had any complaint about that—they are perfectly fine. My bad experience about a rent room is when I rent one in Cipete. A friend of mine survived in that building for more than four years (in the upper level) yet at that time the room upstairs is full-booked and so I got the first floor, which is horrible. Beforehand, A has asked me multiple times, to make sure whether I was confident with my choice. At the very beginning, he knew that this place wouldn't be the best fit for me, but I was running out of time and apparently on the edge and extremely exhausted due to overwork late—man, I have no other choice. The building was located right on the back of a restaurant, which, I should have realise that I would get cockroach and other random insects crawling on the floor at night, or the funky smell came out from the drainage 😖. I guess renters upstairs didn't get the same issue as the ones who lives downstairs. And what really drive me nuts was the endless beeping coming from one of the electrical box's renter that the housekeeper refuse to shut. Somehow the room isn't really soundproof since I could heard street singers and vehicles passing the busy Cipete Raya road. All in all, I could sleep better in KRL or TJ bus rather than this place 😂😂

This time, I was so sure that this particular room I found in Bandung was meant for me. However, it didn't take long for insomnia to strikes back. In October 2023 to be exact, I struggled to fall asleep. I don’t mean to sound dramatic, but the sleepless nights took a toll on my overall well-being. I was confused that my sleep difficulties partly due to:

1. The nonexistent air cooler in my room (to my friends who once convinced me that I don't need aircon when I live here, please try to remember when exactly the last time you spent your bachelor study here—Bandung is not that cold, yeorobun), 
2. Intense light exposure—my room still got light exposure from the aisle of the dorm through the vents. Somehow, I love having a pitch dark room during bed time.
3. Sound—I still could hear the girl next door's night activities. The room is not wholly soundproof either because of the vents for airflow circulation.
4. Stress—due to the never ending assignments,
5. or all of it.

I never think that assignments and exams and all would burdened me that much, though. I barely survived the scorching October heat since my rent room wasn’t designed for hot weather. I have considered to move out to a room with aircon, but each option (that I found both online or offline) came with its own drawbacks—cramped access, ridiculously high prices (compared to my previous places in Central Jakarta), or busy neighborhoods. Those reasons made me hesitate to move out. Somehow the aircon isn't the only one that affect my sleep. When the heat is present, the fly and mosquito season is finally arrived—something I didn't sign up for 😢. I begged the house keeper to allow me to install aircon, which, he undoubtedly rejected 😂.

What really matters to me in order to have a good quality of sleep, aside from the reasons I mentioned above, was the bed. Later, I figured that the bed I used was so old and it wasn't in its ideal form.

During the heatwave around October the next year, God had another plan. I caught a cold, and the whole situation forced me to take medication for a week just so I could sleep soundly, unbothered by the heat. The heat and insomnia led me to drink coconut water every single day, so that I could get a good quality rest. Recently I found out that consuming almond and cashew gave a good quality sleep too.

Anyway, what makes me decide to finally stay in this room until the end of the period, is my discovery of this warteg near my place during the third semester—disguised as a pecel stall in the morning, but serves decent home meals during the day til noon. And around that time, there were a soft opening of roasted chicken stall near where I live. That reminded me of those dark moments I've been through; coming back from work with growling empty stomach, feeling defeated, and decided to have a late chicken dinner and sobbing at the same time, at the same franchise roasted chicken in Cipete Raya. I knew it's silly, but I consider it as a sign to put up a little longer.

I feel bad for ended up writing an unpleasant experience to commemorate my stay in Bandung; I used to feel as if I wasn't allowed to share my good moments with anyone through anything because I am afraid it would make me sound too braggy. However, I felt like I have healed from everything that the universe threw at me few years ago. I  am filled with gratitude—for the clear and chilled air, the supportive lecturers and lovely friends, and all the good foods I devour. Even my baby Thai Constellation Monstera is thriving here. It used to take months just to grow a new leaf, but here, it only takes 2-3 weeks for the new pup to emerge 💕