Just a quick update on what's happening in my life lately.
I officially graduated at the end of August. Though, sadly, mum couldn’t make it to the ceremony (will rant about that on another post). Still, I managed to take graduation photos with these ador(k)able people that I cherish the most.
Got ISPA twice when stayed at home. During those dark moments, I forced myself to think about the times when I was feeling at my best—secured my first job, that is. I retraced what I actually do to get me fully engaged: good habits I built, the mindset I had, or quotes that truly moved me. I used to read Ahmad Fuadi's books for inspiration, but frankly speaking, what's truly pushed me to go the extra miles was this random quote I found at Tumblr:
“Want something you’ve never had? Do something you’ve never done”
People who knows me from a far would see me as the one frantically trying to break through invisible doors upon me. I'm definitely not one of those brilliant friends who graduated summa cumlaude, nor the ones with negotiation skills so sharp their career skyrockets overnight 😛. But I keep knocking anyway, because who knows? Maybe one of those doors will open. Maybe God will actually let me in.
(as why I chose the phrase "breaking through a door", I felt like I couldn't get in easily if I didn't knock it hard enough)
This exact mindset is what made me hit the send button even though I had no idea whether there was an open position to apply. After countless, dreadful LinkedIn scrolls that led me to nowhere, I finally did the unthinkable move. That crazy idea suddenly crossed my mind, right after I submitted an application to another company (that I didn't get a chance to get interviewed to) that I got from my late boss.
Got an offering letter days after being officially graduated—at a workplace located exactly what I want, in an unpredictable way, at all. The way it happened felt surreal—it kept people around me wondering how on earth I landed the job, and yet, once again it proves that God always watching and taking a good care of me all along.
Had I not been an active student in the professional class in 2016 hosted by the company, and earned the highest grade, and caught my (current) boss' attention—who happened to be in the same class,
Had I not been reached out to a friend last February—who has a mutual in this company—to look for an internship vacancy and got the HR’s email at that time...
I wouldn’t have secured this job.
The position I filled had been vacant for almost a year, despite several round of interviews.
Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah. Indeed another wish come true, God is (really) good.
However, apparently I've been looked down upon by the very people I expected the least. They (tried hard to sound as casual as they can) asked me, "Who got you in?" or "Did X refer you?"
To live in a country where even the top officials got his position thanks to his beloved papa and uncle, I get that nepotism is kind of a new normal. But man, those questions were humiliating.
For someone like me whose only purpose at work is self actualization and not climbing some power ladder, it stung. I have never mastered the art of sucking up nor do I play office politics. They knew I don’t belong to certain group of power nor being boss’ favorite—favorite enough to back me up. If I were someone’s favorite, I didn't have to bother giving up my last job and went through to some extend to graduate school. All this time I always stand on my own foot, with God’s grace. Or so I thought, they knew it better than anyone else. But hey, jelly much?! After all the favors I did for you guys, was that all I got in return?! 😒 Oh well, maybe it's time to cross a few names off the friend's list anyway.
I also got a lot of unsolicited advice where I could aim a better company. Like, what do you expect from me, designing rockets for NASA?! The funniest part is, this kind of remark came from someone whose company reported 600+ billion loss at the end of last year—he should take a better look at himself in the mirror 😂 dude is in a sinking ship but still minding someone else's business. How ironic.
In this kind of economy, being unemployed is not an option for me—I’ll take whatever opportunity comes my way. I am deeply grateful for anything God has given to me. I refuse to compare my life to anyone for comparison is truly is the thief of joy. Right now, I am finally getting a grip of myself, feeling at peace—and that’s what matters most. I don’t owe anyone any explanation. I let them keep wondering "who got me in", because the real insider behind all of this is, and has always been, the Almighty.
