There were times when I've been wondering what my passion is since people mostly said we have to follow our passion in order to succeed in life. Some felt lost when they stuck in studying a major that did not have interest in, while some felt empty when their current job is not match with their passion.
The problem is, both major in college and job are some of the things we have to live in for the rest of our lives. We have to be carefully choose them because much or less our decision will define our life path.
Back then, I could not figure out what my passion is. I mean, I love reading comics and novels but I don't draw nor write.
By the time I have to decide what to learn in college, I really have no idea what to choose. There is huge question in my mind since then--to look for what my interest is and turn it into a future career I dream about. I crossed off medical faculty of the list, because I knew that to get in there takes a lot of money that my family did not have. Some of my friends were trying hard to get into prestigious college like STAN or UI and planning to learn social science. At least, they know exactly what they want. Yet, I was still figuring out.
From what I remember, I picked my major unintentionally. I chose Japanese literature because I thought it was least mainstream than English literature. And surely mum would not let me choose social science. A year after that, I thought I knew what I want to study for bachelor degree. As much as I could handle my japanese classes well, I could not stand living with my schizophrenic aunt. I begged mum to let me rent a room somewhere but we were financially unstable so I had to stay. I thought I could escape from that situation by leaving Surabaya. So I retook SNMPTN test (later it changed into SBMPTN). While I decided to pick petroleum engineering - UI for the first option, I had no idea what to choose for the second option except mum mentioned that I have to consider ITS, whatever major I want. Anyway, It was actually my friend who helped me to sign up on SNMPTN website because I could barely access it. My phone rang, I picked it up and it was her. She asked me what my second option is and I have to answer that in a split seconds or else the website will run out of order again. Out of nowhere I replied 'statistics' without giving it a second thought even though I want to learn environmental engineering that time.
Eventually I realize there's God hand behind all of this. I mean, I lenjoy learning languages and I am not a sucker in mathematics, and until now never once I regretted to study Japanese and statistics. Although I am passionate in learning language, I had to deal with things I am not comfortable with, like attending kaiwa class, memorizing difficult kanjis, or finishing ronbun :p
From what I remember, I picked my major unintentionally. I chose Japanese literature because I thought it was least mainstream than English literature. And surely mum would not let me choose social science. A year after that, I thought I knew what I want to study for bachelor degree. As much as I could handle my japanese classes well, I could not stand living with my schizophrenic aunt. I begged mum to let me rent a room somewhere but we were financially unstable so I had to stay. I thought I could escape from that situation by leaving Surabaya. So I retook SNMPTN test (later it changed into SBMPTN). While I decided to pick petroleum engineering - UI for the first option, I had no idea what to choose for the second option except mum mentioned that I have to consider ITS, whatever major I want. Anyway, It was actually my friend who helped me to sign up on SNMPTN website because I could barely access it. My phone rang, I picked it up and it was her. She asked me what my second option is and I have to answer that in a split seconds or else the website will run out of order again. Out of nowhere I replied 'statistics' without giving it a second thought even though I want to learn environmental engineering that time.
Eventually I realize there's God hand behind all of this. I mean, I lenjoy learning languages and I am not a sucker in mathematics, and until now never once I regretted to study Japanese and statistics. Although I am passionate in learning language, I had to deal with things I am not comfortable with, like attending kaiwa class, memorizing difficult kanjis, or finishing ronbun :p
The same story goes when it's time for me to pursue a career.
I always thought that people who could define their so-called-passion are lucky, because they are determined to pursue them. Meanwhile, I don't really know what I want to be, whether it is lecturer, or scientist, or researcher, or a banker, or an employee. One thing for sure is that I want to work in a position that a robot could not replace me.
But the meaning of Passion in my mind changed after I bumped into this TedTALK
From that video, it is concluded that you can not match your passion to your work. Like he said, just think about your own interest 5-10 years ago, and how different they are from today. All this means that your present interest is not a solid basic for career decisions.
So I could say the quote saying 'follow your passion and you will not have to work for the rest of your life' is actually a(c )trap that ruin your future. Hahaha.
No it's just me being skeptical.
So I could say the quote saying 'follow your passion and you will not have to work for the rest of your life' is actually a
No it's just me being skeptical.
To complete the clear meaning of passion, I got another theory that pretty much blow me away.
I found it in dianarikasari's book, 88 love life vol. 2 (if I am not mistaken). She said that passion should be represented as a verb instead of a noun.
And everything seems all make sense.
If passion is a verb, then my passion would be 'learn'.
I don't want to brag or something, but I could not lie I really enjoyed my financial mathematics class held by UGM back then. I know it is difficult but a part of me is curious to solve the problem, step-by-step. It is like playing a game and it could keep me awake until late just to solve it.
I miss having a study club like we used to do--going home late to work on assignment by writing and discussing it on the whiteboard.
I miss learning languages too. I barely speak Japanese anymore and I hardly write my blog post in English :(
And frankly speaking, I started to think that I enjoy my work.
For those who know, I am in the team where we are given complicated yet never ending tasks to handle. However, there is always something new to learn every single day and I kinda look forward to it in the morning.
But this year feels like the opportunity is taken away from me.
I failed a master degree scholarship test. Again.
I missed the A50 class. I mean, I thought I could not make it (the class is so demanding--you need to attend every single session otherwise you'll miss a lot. Plus you have to pull score A to pass) because for the next couple weeks I had wedding party to attend out of town and I already got the tickets, so I did not sign up for the class. Fortunately the class was suspended in two weeks but still, the class was already full-booked so I could not take credits for it.
I missed the AJ04 test, which turn the opportunity to attend graduation ceremony on the next March from 0,5 to completely zero.
I even got less than 550 for TOEFL score.
I do not take IELTS test yet because the dollar exchange rate rises over time and I do not have enough cash. Excuse much?
I am a total loser this year.
